Emmy's Peer Edit

1. What are some areas that could use more detail? Why?
I thought it was very good, very detailed. You really understand what the books are about.
2. What additional sources might the author use? Does the lead involve you in the story?
Yes it does. You want to read on a lot.
3. Does the story contain a well defined scene (a detailed description of someone doing something or something happening)? What is it? If not, make a suggestion for a scene that might work.
Not really, I think this was more like a book review. Nothing was really happening in it.
4. What would you like to see or hear more of? Less of? Include, any other suggestions you have for improvement.
I thought it was very good. Maybe have a more clear defined plot of your story.